RISE ~ CONNECT ~ DISCOVER

When It’s Never Enough: Leading Through Unseen Effort

Monday, March 24, 2025

TLO Newsletter Blog/Empathy/When It’s Never Enough: Leading Through Unseen Effort

📌 When It Feels Like You're Always Behind

You stay late, handle more than your share, and jump in when things fall apart. You’re reliable—but also invisible.

📌 Unrealistic expectations feel like quicksand. The more you do, the more is expected. And the less recognition you receive, the more isolated you feel.

This cycle is exhausting—and unsustainable. Not because you’re not capable, but because no one was meant to operate under endless pressure without acknowledgment.

At The Lively Office, we believe leadership doesn't mean sacrificing your well-being to meet everyone's expectations. True leadership starts with empathy—for yourself, and for those you influence.

If you want to feel seen, it begins by seeing yourself clearly first. And that takes self-empathy.

🧩 Real-World Leadership Story

Former PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi once shared that early in her career, she would go home and write letters to her team’s families, thanking them for supporting their loved one’s contributions at work. She knew recognition wasn’t just about awards or emails—it was about making people feel seen. And before she expected that from others, she practiced it herself.

But she also learned that leaders must advocate for themselves. At times, her work was dismissed or taken for granted, and it wasn’t until she clearly articulated her vision, ownership, and strategic input that others began to respond differently. She didn’t just wait for recognition—she reframed how others perceived her contributions. That’s the power of clarity, courage, and self-empathy in action.

Now let's take Massive ACTION!

RISE

Use Self-Empathy to Reclaim Your Voice

The hardest part about being under-recognized? You start to believe you're the problem. That you must not be doing enough. That you're not impressive enough. That you just need to try harder.

But here's the truth: You are already doing more than enough.
You're simply not being heard—or you're trying to be heard in the wrong way.

📌 Self-empathy means stepping back to ask: What do I need? instead of What more can I do?

Start by shifting how you talk about your work.
🔹 “I stayed late to catch up.” becomes → “I ensured we met the deadline by stepping in when others couldn’t.”
🔹 “It’s just part of the job.” becomes → “This task stretched my capacity, and I managed it without dropping standards.”

📌 You don’t need to shout to be seen. But you do need to stop minimizing your impact.

🛠 Action: Rewrite one common task into a leadership-driven impact statement. Use it in your next update, conversation, or eCareer entry.

CONNECT

Empathy Isn’t One-Directional—It’s Influence

Recognition and expectations don’t exist in a vacuum. They’re shaped by your relationships—above, below, and beside you.

📌 The secret to creating balance? Apply empathy at every level of influence.

🔹 With Leadership: They may not see what you’re managing. Instead of staying silent, guide them:
➡ “I’ve been covering multiple areas. Can we align on the priorities so I can focus on what matters most?”

🔹 With Peers: Peer expectations often build unspoken pressure.
➡ “I’ve noticed we’re all stretched thin. Can we check in on workloads and redistribute if needed?”

🔹 With Your Team: Recognition doesn’t always come from above—but you can give it downward.
➡ “I’ve seen how much you’re handling—I appreciate your consistency.”

📌 Empathy doesn’t mean taking on more—it means showing understanding while creating space for honest conversations.

🛠 Action: Start one dialogue this week—upward, sideways, or downward—to clarify expectations or give recognition.

DISCOVER

You Are More Than Their Approval

If your worth is tied to recognition, you'll always feel behind. But the most powerful leaders know who they are—even when no one is watching.

📌 Self-empathy asks: What do I need to feel proud of myself today?
Not: Who noticed what I did?

You are not just your productivity. You are not just your job description.
You are:
✔ A decision-maker
✔ A problem-solver
✔ A person with values, vision, and a story beyond the title

🛠 Action: Write down one thing you’re proud of this week that no one acknowledged. You saw it. You own it. That’s leadership.

🎤 Leadership That Lasts Starts With Self-Recognition

📌 If you want to lead effectively under unrealistic expectations, you can’t wait for permission to rest—or to feel worthy.

🔹 Validate yourself first
🔹 Communicate your impact clearly
🔹 Practice empathy in every direction

Lead with empathy. Recognize your effort. Own your value.

💡 You’ve got this.
– The Lively Office Team

— KSA Writing Tips -

✍️ KSA Tip: Don’t Just List What You Did—Show What It Meant

🚫 “Managed multiple areas of the operation.”
✅ “Oversaw and stabilized overlapping functions during staff shortages, ensuring continuity and maintaining performance standards.”

📌 Recognition starts with how you tell your story.